Intellectual Bubblegum

Welcome to the world of the entry level employee!  

PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT: “Knock, knock. Whose there? You. You Who?” VP: Nice. But is that enough knocks? Four more knocks will give the user more time to respond. LEGAL: We’re asking them to knock; there could be liability if there is danger on the other side of the door. ACCOUNTING: There’s not enough in the budget [...]

A funny but probably all-too-real look on what it must feel to be a woman, surrounded by the macho, women-stalking nature of men at the gym. This video reverses the stereotyped roles of men and women at the gym to make its point.

2531 Springfield Lane, Montclair, IL 1348 Hours Leader, Special Forces: SleighTeam Six Engaged Santa in heavy firefight. Took a while as he carries a lot of toy guns in that sack. Thought we had Santa cornered after disabling his sled and taking out Blitzen. Forgot intelligence warned us that TV commercials confirm Santa also uses [...]

2531 Springfield Lane, Montclair, IL 1323 Hours Leader, Special Forces: SleighTeam Six There he is, the big prize in this war: Santa. I raised my gun. Santa looked at me cold. He said, I don’t think you’ve got the guts, you “F*king punk!” I said, “I hope you don’t eat the kids cookies and milk [...]

Dick’s Sporting Goods, Menlo Park, NJ 0727 Hours Robert Malley Lt. Col. United States Marine Corp Ambushed and in a price war!   Men socks at Dicks lowered to $5.99. The Sports Authority retaliated and lowered to $5.09. My squad caught in the middle. Need reinforcements! Or perhaps today is a good day to save 15%.

Dispatch from the War On Christmas: Day Eight Interrogation Unit Camp Blitzen, Afghanistan 0245 Hours United States Special Operations Command (USSOCOM) says time is running out. They need intelligence to find Santa before he unloads his “gifts” on all the boys and girls. We are now authorized use any interrogation techniques necessary.  We  strapped our [...]

Dispatch from the War On Christmas: Winter Park, FL  Day Seven 0400 Hours Bed Bath & Beyond 30% Off Sale Lt. Manny Chevits 1st Infantry Division Under fire from secular humanists throwing words “Happy Holiday” at us. Returning fire with “We keep Christ in Christmas!”  Humanists tell me do like my savior and turn the [...]

Dispatch from the War On Christmas: Philadelphia, PA King of Prussia Mall 1800 Hours Special Forces Unit Intelligence from Bill O’Reilly reports secular humanists, 20 clicks north. We’ll find them after we locate a dictionary to learn what a secular humanist is.

Kwanzaa and Hanukkah. Shhhh. Not your fight. Pretend you’re Switzerland.