The GOP just put forth a platform at their nominating convention. No abortion under any circumstances. And no gay marriage or civil unions. Platforms cheered by some but disappointing for women who support abortion and people who support equality for gays. Especially those who claim loyalty to the GOP, call themselves a member and even attended the convention filled with people making statements that oppose at least one policy they believe is very important to them. And people using invectives to match (Baby Killer. Abominations before God).

I can understand that at one level. Whether you like a person of the same sex or believe that a woman has the option to have an abortion doesn’t mean you can’t support and feel strongly other Republican values and policies. No group is a robot.

But it seems to me that those two are so fundamental they’re deal breakers.

Growing up black. I grew up with a lean towards being a Republican. I, back then and do now, like the idea of limited government and self reliance. But there was a deal breaker for me. From Willie Horton ads, to Jesse Helms famous “minority took your job ad” to other incidents, I began to see that even though I had beliefs and values similar to the GOP, there were people who seemed to communicate I personally was a value they were against. Or I saw a group so willing to disparage and defame and smear my racial background in broad strokes in order to please other parts of the party. It made it hard to stay in the party.

Sort of like having a girlfriend that keeps calling you a loser. Especially to other men. And laughing with them laughing at you. I got a feeling she’s not as into me as I think she is. Or I’m being used.

I didn’t stay. I’ve registered Independent and plan to stay that way as I also have some issues with some Democratic Party ideas. What’s hard for me to understand is people who are gay or pro-life who say within the GOP tent as it currently is.

This is not just a word disagreement or statement of idea like the CEO of Chick-fil-A who said he doesn’t agree with gay marriage but would let gay customers come into the store and buy their products unmolested. In this case, you have the party taking actions against gays and pro-life women stand. “Personhood” laws. Forced Trans-vaginal ultrasound reviews. Prop 8, gay marriage bans at the state level across 30 states.

CPAC, the conservative conference this year wouldn’t let the gay GOProud group attend their conference. Blocking people that are Republicans through and through. Except they’re gay.

I know the argument by some is that groups can be changed from the inside. This is true. Yes, and eventually your spouse that keeps calling you a tramp or cheating on your might stop, too. And you might change them. Are you really willing to wait around that long? At some point you start looking like a chump or a sucker than a patient revolutionary.

Also there a message communicated when you agree to say in the background or don’t push back on a person (or political matter) that disparages you. You tell them and others. “I’m okay with being treated this way.” Or that other things matter way before this issue.

There’s a saying. People don’t have time for those that will sit around and wait. And for gays and women in the GOP. You might be waiting a long time.

It doesn’t mean you have to join the Democratic Party. Just in a relationship, sometimes the only way for your partner to respect you is to show them you won’t put up with their treatment anymore or show you respect yourself enough to be willing to leave.